I’ve recently moved desks at work which has meant leaving a wonderful circle of women who just automatically understand things, to now being surrounded by men who just don’t get it. These men are various ages, cultures and backgrounds but they all seem to agree on certain things they just don’t get about the females in their lives. My new circle are proving to be wonderfully curious and have sporadically asked me about certain things women do & why, I don’t know why they think my answers are gospel, but I’ll go with it & consider myself to be their life/woman guru.
Why do girls like bad boys?
This is one of those age old things that seems to be ingrained in women and it’s horrible. Years ago there was an episode of The Hills where LC said ‘We want to be the ones to change them’ LC summed it up quite nicely. It’s not like we see a guy and think they’re terrible and go crazy. It’s something about being the one girl that’s so incredible and heartbreakingly perfect that their bad boy ways are tamed because they’re so deeply in love with us. Taylor swift wrote an entire song about this complex – ‘I knew you were trouble’ – she gets it. If I know someones no good for me, then I can’t help it, I’m powerless. Plus stereotypical bad boy looks with tattoos, stubble and a leather jacket is unbearably hot.
Why do women fall in love with men then try to change them?
Speaking from experience are we? I think I came up with about the best response I could really: It’s not that we want to change you, it’s that we want you to be the best version of yourself possible. If I can have the spectacular version of you that swept me off my feet but will also do simple things like put the toilet seat down, call me first just to say Hello, or go for a promotion at work that you normally wouldn’t, then I will have that version of you.
Why we get so irate about no text backs?
This wasn’t actually a topic inspired by work colleagues, it’s from various coupled up friends and also I can relate from when I was in a relationship. When relationships first start out texting is all day everyday from both parties. So all of a sudden that stops and we’re getting no response for hours and when we do get a response it’s way below-standard. It may seem like such a trivial thing to you, but for us over-analysing women it’s infuriating. Is it because there’s another woman? Are you having a sordid affair? Are you bored of me? Do you hate me? Are you dead? No text backs turn me into a paranoid banshee which I like to avoid. So don’t be such an ass and text back when I text you.
What’s with the shoe obsession?
Not all women have a shoe problem, I’ve got a close a friend with a serious handbag addiction, but for me it’s definitely shoes. Various queries were raised on this topic so I’ll do a quick fire round. Why so many? I need variety to go with different outfits and therefore different colours. Pretty shoes or comfy shoes? Pretty. Shoes are meant to be beautiful, if my feet will suffer for a day as a result then so be it. Why buy shoes then never wear them? I have a pair of Kurt Geigers that were £90 down to £19, this is a bargain, they don’t fit, they go with nothing, but I love them and so I’ll keep them. I summed up my shoe obsession nicely to my baffled colleague – For me, Shoes are wearable art.
Can women have sex without being in love?
Yes we can. It seems to be a pretty old fashioned way of thinking that women can’t differentiate sex from love. They’re 2 very different things and in fairness are intensified & best when they’re interlinked. But actually for a modern day woman, a physical act that is all about pleasure without being in love is quite possible. And enjoyable.
How do we fall so intensely in love with book characters?
Have you read The Hunger Games? Divergent? 50 Shades of Grey? No? Then don’t ever bother trying to understand how the description of an ideal & beautiful man being heroic, kind, dirty & romantic appeals to us. Women fall so easily in love with the idea of someone, our fictional men can’t disappoint us by not texting us back, not forgetting our birthdays, or by having bad breath in the morning etc.
Why do women take SO long to get ready for a night out?
Okay, getting ready for a night out takes me an average of 1hour – 4 days. I’m not even kidding, I get ready in the time allocated to me. If I know I’m going out on the weekend and it’s currently Tuesday then it’s time to start using the gradual fake tanner so I don’t stink of fake tan on the night. If I’m invited to go out in an hour I will be ready in that time but I won’t be happy about it. Generally I like approximately a 2-3 hour time slot to get ready as it’s a whole lengthy process. I shower, shave, exfoliate, moisturise, prime, dry my hair, curl my hair, do my makeup, smudge it, have to restart, paint my nails, choose a perfect & long-lasting perfume, decide what to wear, decide which of my beautiful shoes to wear, change my mind, make a final decision on what to wear, have it approved by someone else, take photos & finally consider leaving the house. This is all done alongside eternal procrastination, enjoying a glass of wine, dancing to music/channeling my inner Beyoncé, watching Great Gatsby & sorting out what my mates are wearing. I love the whole process, stop questioning it, it’s all part of the night out.
Coming soon: What I’ll never understand about the male species.
Most images found on Google, some are my own. Aren’t I such a fab photographer?!
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